Triggered! : Liv Ferrari

© Liv Ferrari

By Liv Ferrari

(trigger warning, sexual violence)

I took this photograph in December nearly three years ago. That December was the five year anniversary of me surviving a sexual assault that took place at the end of my driveway. The weeks previous to making the image I was beginning to work on a project about trauma and sexual violence. The day I took this picture was right after a huge storm in my hometown that knocked down a huge tree which damaged my neighbor’s car, fence, and garage. When I heard the tree fall, I ran down my driveway to see what had happened. It wasn’t until right before I took the picture when I realized the coincidence of the fact I was standing in front of destruction that took place right across from where I was attacked five years ago.

This image, among many others from my project, was taken in a mindset of fear, awe, and frustration. It speaks to the theme present in both my life and work where I am investigating how trauma affects how you see and experience the world around you. It is about how one’s violent memories can follow you everywhere, spilling into everything you look at and tainting everything in front of you with the inescapable past. 

I have found that the medium of photography lends itself well to exploring the nature of trauma. Like a traumatic memory, the analog image is latent until it is returned to again. It emerges after the fact, and it cannot be fully understood or seen until the moment is already gone. What is left in the past is hinted at in traces everywhere. Sometimes, the flashbacks and the present intertwine and I see both moments. Suddenly, everything is happening at once. Photography and trauma both disrupt the linear narrative of life. 

You can view more of Liv’s work here.